TOPIC: Is it safe for a guy to have sex with a woman with HSV-2

And see, nohidingstyle brings up a good point regarding herpes. The distinction between "oral herpes" (HSV-1) and "genital herpes" (HSV-2) is quickly falling apart as more and more people get HSV-1 in their anal/genital region and vice-versa. HSV 2 has historically been a bit more likely to cause more frequent outbreaks, but that's a bit ambiguous in the literature. And lots of us contracted HSV-1 as children and don't even know it--only a small subset develop cold sores, but if your blood was tested, you'd likely have HSV-1 antibodies that have simply been serving your body so well that you never realized you were infected.

I can think of a lot of things that would make me think twice about sleeping with someone, but herpes doesn't make the list. And yes, an open herpetic sore would be a mildly increased risk for HIV transmission, but only if you doused it in infected body fluids, and the moral of the story anyway is that you shouldn't be having sex with an active herpes sore full stop, to make sure you aren't spreading it. You can just enjoy sex the other 98% of the year. And yes, viral "shedding" that precedes a visible outbreak is a thing, but one can only do so much. Jimmy james's experience of having not spread it to two long-time partners is totally consistent with countless other stories i've heard from couples, including one that i used to live with.

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This hits close to home. I have genital herpes. It sounds way worse then it actually it is. I caught it 10 years ago from unprotected sex during a one nightstand. I was in college and an idiot. What a slut she was for not telling me.. but it's ultimately my fault. At first I was devastated and thought I'd never be in another relationship again. I have been in two long term relationships since then and never transmitted into my partners even though we had sex without condoms 100's of times. As long as you don't have a visible outbreak, it's very unlikely to transfer the virus and in my case I never did.

At the beginning of catching the virus I would get outbreaks once every 3-4 months and it was frustrating. But after the first year they were less frequent, like twice a year. Now, I haven't had an outbreak in over 2 years. I do take Lysine daily and have for the past 4 years. In that time, I have had one outbreak that lasted 4 days. So all in all, it's not that bad and more of an inconvenience than something traumatic like many people make it out to be. I would not dismiss a nice woman just because she has HSV if I were you.

The hard part is telling a new partner that you have it. But luckily a few times the other girl is hot and has it too(as dance w/dragons eluded to) so it's like an automatic connection and definite lay because they don't have to worry and neither of us judge one another. The "herpes connection" I call it.

It's supposed to be low, but you can't see the outbreaks that easily, since they aren't just on the outside. A condom cuts the risk in half. Valtrex also lowers the risk - if she's taking it daily for suppression, and theoretically also if you take it as prophylaxis. I think HPV is harder to go from female-->male than HSV. The body can clear HPV...though HSV is basically permanent.

I'd only consider her if I wanted her as a wife. That shit is permanent.

Jack off and clear your head to make a sound decision.

Brave men. As low of a risk it is... couldn't bring myself to have unprotected sex with someone knowing they had herpes. Because if you do catch that low chance, that's it. Just thinking how that would affect the rest of my life would be enough.

Lysol before and after and you are good to go.

I dated a girl off and on for about a year and a half, and she has herpes. We had pretty consistent sex, and usually wore a condom, though not always. She also takes valtrex. I never contracted herpes from her. I just got checked recently and I'm still clean. I thought the risk was low enough and I liked her enough that I was willing to take the chance.

Diseases like this are no big deal until you're older and your immune system starts weakening. Then they all come out to play on your feeble body and wreak their icky horrors upon your flesh. Gross... but that's how it works.

I have HPV and HSV-1. Got HSV-1 as an infant and there are so many strains of HPV you probably have multiples of them and have no idea.

As I understand it, Herpes is a virus that stays in the body forever, but the immune system suppresses it which actually weaken the immune system some what. It also can increase the chances of getting HIV if exposed to it while Herpes is active. This is what I have learned about it, but if I am wrong correct me. I am not trying to scare any body off, Just sharing my limited knowledge. Condoms are not 100% safe to use with an active herpes person. It is a virus that can be anywhere in the genital area and skin to skin contact will get you infected..

I have made a habit of having a full STD test on any woman before we sleep together (most of my relationships are not one night stand). I do the tests too, that way we both know we are 100% clean and then we go at it big time with peace of mind. So far, knock on wood, I have no problems....

I have had a couple of one night stands at the university in the UK, but I was lucky not to catch anything...

Jimmy james's experience of having not spread it to two long-time partners is totally consistent with countless other stories i've heard from couples, including one that i used to live with.

not likely. you can spread it and not know. it can takes months to years to show symptoms if at all ever.

It's a totally reasonable risk to take, because even if you get it, it's like such a non-issue in today's world. But if the other person is on valtrex, transmission is unlikely. I've known lots of serodiscordant couples (i.e., one had it, one didn't), and they were all fine. I also have several good friends who have it--as my internist said recently, you just have to take it as a risk when you get on the field. They may have an outbreak once a year, they take valtrex for a few days, and it goes away. No big deal. It's really not what it used to be in a world where we have valtrex (or even its predecessor, acyclovir).

As for HPV, anyone under 30 who is reading this forum should make an appointment to see their internist and get Gardasil, the HPV vaccine. Even though that's later than the recommended inoculation (ideally you'd get it as a kid before being sexually active), there are lots of anecdotal reports from physicians that it has some therapeutic value (i.e., helps your body clear HPV faster/better even if you already have it) in addition to its well documented prophylactic value. Genital warts are not cute . . . and unlike herpes, they don't go away after 2-3 days with some pills . . . they require a procedure, and sometimes surgery, to get removed. Also, condoms are largely irrelevant to HPV (and really HSV too) oral and frottage are just as risky for transmission.

Coming from someone who has slept with someone with hsv-2. If she has it and you sleep with her you'll likely get it even if there isn't an outbreak. My partner never had one but I got it from her. I've never had an outbreak but got tested a year later and had it. It's not the end of the world but it's a choice you have to make knowing you'll likely get it if you don't use protection.