TOPIC: Messageman Got Dumped

@ Miracle

Glad to see you back, and glad to hear there was a resolution to your marital issues. May explain your absence, but for all the right reasons...repairing the home & family take priority above all. Sincerely hope the reconciliation endures a lifetime!

@Messageman

It's rough. I had one relationship that was real, involved, and for more years than I care to admit. When things weren't working, it was then I began to question what I could do to win her back, and it ate at me, causing bouts of depression, self-doubt, etc. Looking back on it, I realized that we're not always capable of seeing the incompatibilities that our partners are capable of seeing, making a breakup so difficult to comprehend. And many times, women are just as confused themselves, either not knowing what they want, or knowing what they want and incapable of communicating it.

From what you've shared, you'll have to take into account that she's young and probably naive, her emotions are evolving, her moods are swinging, and she's concluded she's not looking for something so serious as to justify an indefinite relationship. The only issue here is that you may have gotten more emotionally involved than you intended/anticipated...let's not forget you did put an ad up blatantly soliciting casual sex. At no fault of your own (or hers), things grew, especially on you. Naturally, like I know all too well, the breakup blues is something you'll have to get through, but when you look back on this all, you'll have learned something that will help you better gauge future prospects.

Sorry to hear about the pain, heartbreak sucks. Sucks so much that it's possibly stunted my own ability to invest emotions. Hope that doesn't happen to you from here on out. We all grow from our experiences. You'll always have our understanding, the PB community, fraternity, cromradery, brotherhood.

When she pulled back from you when you went in for a kiss just go for it again and say we can't be friends give me a kiss we are to good together,I would keep pursing her she wants to be the dominant person in the relationship for now ok but you can always turn the tide later on.

She mentions other guys are good looking,she's trying to offend insult in women's crazy ways my response would be "but do they have a massive Dick like me" and give her a wink.

Have no shame say what you think but don't get lovey and desperate or she will think your a beta

jd123 wrote: I'd rather be a nomad with a big Dick that travels and fucks over having a nice house full of kids and a loving wife.

To each his own.

Messageman and m7

I dont even know how you dudes stay in a committed relationship with whats Hanging between your legs. I'm in my mid twenties and maybe that has to do with it, but If I was packing like either of you, I'd be looking to test drive every decent looking girl in sight.

I have a serious girlfriend now whom I love very much. Shes awesome and it hurts me to say but If I woke up one morning and looked down to see a 7 x 5.5, It would be the last time she ever saw me. Relationships havent always been that important to me though. I'd rather be a nomad with a big Dick that travels and fucks over having a nice house full of kids and a loving wife.

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Hi Buddy, I hope you are doing better...

I have a lot to say. I will be blunt and to the point. So if you wish me to PM you let me know...

Cheers man!!!!

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I can understand how you feel. I was there and that pain in your chest and gut is unbearable and you'd do anything to make it go away even by begging. I learned it doesn't work. The best thing you could do right now is go NO CONTACT for no less than 30 days. It sounds silly but it definitely helps. Its used as a tactic to make them wonder about you. But in reality this is the time that you use to work on yourself. So wether you get her back or not after those 30 days you'd be a better person for it and less needy. Trust me its hard as fuck but it works. Hope you feel better.

BTW, were you guys speaking this all in english or you translated for us? Just curious because i saw that this took place in Tokyo.

Hello Phalloboard brethren
These last few days have been some of my most distraught in memory. To put it bluntly....I got dumped....It's an experience and feeling that I haven't felt for two decades, but those feelings of rejection, self doubt, regret, and desperation have been eating me alive with an insidious vengeance these last two weeks. The girl in question was somebody I met online (last summer) ...She is much younger than I am....At first I took the relationship as it was...Just for fun, a fling....but as time went on we slowly became more committed to each other. Sex was not great at the beginning...She had a problem with my size (8 x 7.5) but as time went on, she became used to it and sex became very good (at least that's what I thought). I am a very busy guy and for the first 6 months or so she had to vie for my attention and time...she was the pursuer and I was the pursuee, but after her first declaration (this December) that she was going to break up with with me (due to my apparant lack of interest and comitment), I stepped up my game. However, months later (this February), she (again) threatened to break up with me because she wanted to move in with me and I didn't want that...I managed to calm things down but from that time things turned awkward a bit.

She lost that sparkle in her eye for me, and she didn't seem to be into sex as much as before. Our intimacy was sadly disappearing but I wasn't aware. Actually...that's not completely true...I guess I was aware because I (again) stepped up my game and took her out to nice places for dinner, boating, and a hot spring...The thing is...She stopped dressing up, complimenting me, and generally making an effort...it was too late.

The last straw was last week, when after sex, she rolled over and wouldn't speak to me..She then said "what's going on?" I asked her what she was talking about...She then said "You weren't very hard". Which, admittedly, was true...because I was tired...but this was quite a rare thing...I told her it was because I was tired...She looked relieved and said, "well, I thought maybe you didn't think I was hot anymore". I assured her it wasn't the case...An hour went by and I tried to initiate sex and she pulled away....She then proceeded to get dressed and left without speaking a word.
I Texted her and asked her why she did that, and she texted me back and said she
had a lot on her mind. I then did something that changed everything. I wrote that "perhaps we should take some time off from our relationship". I added" No matter what though...I'll always be your friend". She texted me back saying, "I think that's for the best".
Honestly speaking, this was all designed to get an upper hand. I fully expected her to write back and apologize...Maybe not right away, but in a day or two...She didn't....

For those two days I was a complete and upper wreck...She called my bluff and I basically had two choices...Call her or text her and apologize (basically giving her complete control...and becoming her eunuch) or not to do anything. What do you think I did? What do you think I should have done?
Coulda/shoulda/Woulda-I called her and professed my love for her...I told her we would move in together, that I would be devoted to her, I would take care of her, and that she was my "la raison d''tre". She agreed to meet me for dinner the next night. My hopes were high that this was all going to be resolved. We sat down and had a great talk. We walked out of the restaurant holding hands and I walked her to her door. I then leaned into kiss her but to my dismay she shot me a venomous look..."What are you doing? Didn't you say you needed space, that we should be friends?" I was shocked and deflated...I walked home wounded but not defeated. I just figured this was her way of keeping her pride and making me "work for it".So I made a vow that I would do whatever it took to get her back...I then proceeded to text her frequently and meet her after work. We spent a lot of time hanging out, holding hands...but nothing very intimate.

It was also at this time she started mentioning how good looking some other guys were (something she never did before)... I ignored it and tried to look as "Alpha" as I could....just keeping my eye on the prize. One particular event sticks out in my mind from this awful week (of taking her out shopping, buying her presents, paying her bills)...when we visited a pet shop, she pointed to a puppy and said, "This puppy reminds me of you?" "Me?", I exclaimed..."Yes, you remind me of a sad little puppy dog." My sank...Not only was she dumping me, but she was also using me....and enjoying the process..'

That night, I told her I had "somewhere to go" after we met. I didn't; it was just a misguided ploy to get her jealous or at least peak her interest. She wasn't biting. She just looked irritated that I wasn't going to walk her home.
She then said, "See you whenever" in a rude, irritating manner.
That's when I decided to lay my sad cards on the table....
Me: "I don't know if I can continue doing this if we are just going to be friends"
Her: "I told you I don't want anything too serious....Maybe you can't handle being 'friends'".
Me:"Ya, I guess". She then said, "I gotta go".

Again...What do you think I did? What do you think I should have done?
Well, I got on my subway and texted her telling her that I was "in love" with her...and that I wanted to "make it work". She emailed me back and said that she was sorry it didn't work out and that she will "leave me alone" from now on.
That was yesterday...I am devastated. I can't focus on work...And I actually took the day off work today so that I could spend my time googling up on "how to get over a broken ", "how to win her back", "signs that you are being dumped", "penis size stats"-a staple.
I watch my phone hoping against all odds that she texts me and tells me how sorry she is...and that we reunite, make mad passionate love...watch The Walking Dead while we eat Oreos...and plan our future together. "Us against the world". But something is telling me that ain't going to happen.
In retrospect, I think she might have met somebody else...and was waiting for an opportune time to break it off. That is the only think I can figure...up til' a month ago our relationship was solid...
Thanks for listening guys...
Messageman

Obsessed wrote: Messageman, I was with the most beautiful girl last year, until it went wrong. I dumped her out, acting like a gentleman, but it was hard. During 3 months I fucked around just trying to forget her ( not easy, she was a model and there are pictures of her here and there appearing, darn!). I was desperate. Fast forward, in March I met a delicious woman, younger and smarter, kinder, and overall much better. She is also a model but not in the same league though, and I have to admit that I dont have this amazing feeling when I do her, that I had with the other one who was just physically perfect. That being said, when I am with her I feel perfectly happy and myself. So, 90% of the time it is better and when we have sex (10% of the time) wrll its good but not as good. I never thought I could be this happy with a woman. In fact I never thought I would fall in love again. I thought I was through with it. So when I think about the supermodel, well, I don't even regret her because the girl I am with now is so much better. My conclusion : the best is always waiting for you, particularly when you expect it the least.

Interesting that you was able to pull 2 models. Are you looks above average? Or is it money or some type of power you have in your industry?

Hi guys
Thanks SO...And (again) thanks everybody for the support. It is so therapeutic to share when grieving. All of you have had great advice, which I truly have taken to .

She called me a few days after she dumped me to "just say hi". She came over to my place and we watched the DVD "This is the End" (with Seth Rogan) together. What a fitting title for the last DVD we would ever watch together.

She slept in my bed but we didn't make love. I told her that I couldn't see her anymore if we were just going to be "friends"....i couldn't do it. I meant it....
She went home and we exchanged a few messages...but in the end, it was decided we would never contact each other again...

I am still heartbroken but it's getting better little by little....I haven't had my broken in so long, I completely forgot how horrible it truly is. I don't know if it is the thought of never being with her again or the idea that I was 'rejected' that stings more. I have lost about 5 pounds even though I am trying to eat as much as possible. "One foot in front of the other" is what I keep repeating to myself.
As Neil Young wrote..."Only Love Can Break Your Heart." SO TRUE...
But this is all part of life and most of us. (If not all) have experienced it (or will experience it).
Everybody's words of wisdom and encouragement have been an integral part of my recovery.
Thanks!
Messageman

Marriage is rock solid again. Took a lot of work and more importantly, time. I learned a lot from my spouse in the process.

to add to DWD, she will be fantasizing about your Cock in no time. she will never find a guy even close to your size again, her loss. (don't be surprised if she hits you up a few months from now wanting a dose of you Cock again after realizing she won't get it again unless its with you)

I agree with new1inch, no contact and work focus on yourself. It sucks how we can care for people and want them even if they treat us poorly.
I was wondering why Miracle hadn't posted in a while. I had hoped it was because he was enjoying life . It saddens me to read about the marriage trouble

Messageman: The best, of course, to you!