TOPIC: Penile Dysmorphic Disorder

Hello to all,

This is my first post to PhalloBoards ever, and I apologize not to have introduced myself before, e. g. by a cool story of my PE history (I have none). I joined this board because I have/had issues with my genitals, too, and I like the high quality level of your posts here, which is nothing to be expected when discussing such a topic like penis problems, sexuality and the like in the public. Btw., I think all of the Mods do a wonderful job here.
I am a native German age 49, living in Germany with my wife and my two teenage children (boy, 14 and girl, 11 y/o), and looking from the outside I seem to lead a quite normal and happy life (in fact we do, besides all the troubles you normally have with job, children, marriange and so on...). But there is that nagging problem which is keeping me busy since childhood: and it is about (play the drum rolls and a fanfare) the appearance of my Cock and Balls. I posted this here in the PDD thread because I think this is the name of the epidemy which has caught also me, even if it did never get as pathological as in some of you guys here.

How the problem evolved: I had no ideas about being "too small" or "too large" in childhood. I didn't have any possibility to compare, either. There was no internet or private TV channels, and sexuality was a taboo topic in post-war Germany. I used to fondle with my Dick like to play air guitar with it, showed my stiff 10 cm (nearly 4") boy boner proudly to my 5 years older sister (we had a very good and descrete relationship), and so on. At primary school, we never undressed completely before or after sports, and I had never been in a soccer or swimming club, where the chance of seeing other naked boys (and comparing with them) would have been higher. I just did not care...

It changed all at Gymnasium (the highest school form in Germany with classes 5 to 13, now 12), when some of the elder schoolmates ran into puberty, long before I did. Unfortunately, these were also the guys who were best in sports, while I had always been the one to remain last when counting out teams... In other words, I was unsporty like a sack full of rice, and I had also added a little belly due to too much (and to good) food at home. The guys I'm speaking of were well-trained, had some muscles, were not shy to hit the showers naked after sports (they seemed to be full of self-confidence), and when they got dressed again, their genitals formed a quite big bulge in their undies. I remember one day when one of the guys stood quite in front of me (on the other side of the room) naked after shower, his penis semi-erected (he didn't care). It was a fascinating view and I had problems not to make my staring too obvious for him. His penis was much bigger in this half-Flaccid state than I could ever be when fully Erect! But what made me wonder most was that none of the guys seemed to make a big thing out of being naked. I (and many others in my class) never undressed more than necessary to give ourselves a catlick...

From that age on, I became somehow obsessed with penis sizes, girths, Erection angles and others. I had no really good friend, couldn't talk with anybody about my problems. But we had a quite good school library, and I spend school breaks and lunch times reading books about anatomy, sexual education, and the like. But none of the books could answer my questions: Was I "normal"? Was my Dick big enough? Was my Erection angle a "normal one"? My Erection angle was something less than 90 degrees, meaning it pointed more to the ground than into the sky. I was also not content with my Balls: I was (and still am) a real low-Hanger; the scrotal skin is usually very thin, skinny, and wide, leaving my testicles in mid-air between my groins and my knees. When I sit down, they often fall between my legs, making sitting uncomfortable.

Being loaded with all my complexes and low self-esteem, I never dated any girl at school time, not even later when I studied computer science at University. I started to be fascinated by other boys' penises, which I found in sex magazines, in the early Internet (yeah, there has never been an Internet without porn) and the like. I tried to contact other bi-courious students by leaving messages on the university toilet walls, but I never ended up with a real date. My shyness was too strong, as well as my self-esteem regarding my size.

Some posters here mentioned that they spent much money and much life time into their "obsession"; I also spent many days in places where I could secretely watch other boys peeing or masturbating, just to see other dicks which I could compare with mine. I also felt aroused by the situation and by viewing other penises. Several times I even met with a boy in a locker room or the university toilet to have a wank together. All those guys, however, had a bigger and thicker Cock than me, so this did not help my low self-esteem. To fight against my low-hangers, I invented special wrapping methods, tying a cloth handkerchief around my Balls and penis shaft, to give it a tighter look and some bulge. But it is not very comfortable to have a handkerchief knotted round your Dick, especially when you see something that gets you aroused...

Just to "drop the pants" here, I had never any penile enhancement surgery or anything similar. I never tried. On one hand, I was discouraged by the reports of uselessness of such attempts in serious magazines and medical boards. On the other, I was too coward to have anybody fumble with his scalpel near my jewels, possibly with a chance to botch everything. Today, I even know that my size is even more-than-average (for German relations). In Germany, the average erected length is 14.5 cm (something like 5.7"), while erected Girth is 12.3 cm (4.8"). My erected length is about 18 cm (7") and Girth 14.5 cm (5.7"). The downside is, I am an extreme Grower (blood penis), not a shower. When Flaccid, my Dick looks really ridiculous. I am 1.94 m high (6 ft 4.4") while my Flaccid penis dangles unseen with its 4" length and about 1" width... I do not want to offend anyone here who cannot keep up with these measures, but I feel it is not enough to make a good shape. When I am in swimming trunks or in briefs, there is nearly no bulge whatever.

Now that I am married and have children, you could say "what do you want? Here you have the proof that you can have good sex, and that a woman will love you, in spite of a small (Flaccid) penis" and so on, but this is only half the truth. Okay, meanwhile I have put aside my shyness in showers (still enjoy showing and looking at other penises being there naked), I KNOW that I am above-average sized, my wife confirms that my penis is quite big (sometimes maybe even too big), but there is STILL the envy for other men who look "bulgier", have steeper erections, can ejaculate more, spurt wider and so on. When I look in the mirror, it really looks small on me. Sometimes I think it's in a man's competitive genes. Sometimes I think I'm the only man who feels like this. I even start to be envious against my son, who has started puberty, has a very vertical Erection (I spied after him; shame over me!), and a few months ago he also started masturbating frequently. His penis is by far not as big as mine, but he is well on the way; his testicles and penis nearly doubled size in the last two years. He can have erections within seconds; you wouldn't even know he has one, because of his Erection angle which goes straight up to his tummy. I could not remember that I went through puberty with the same speed; everything was so boring slow.

Having a busy job and a family, there isn't much time now to ponder about these problems; I just feel like time is running and I didn't make the life and experiences a normal guy should have made, just because of my complexes and anxiety. Maybe there is somebody out there who feels similar, or at least someone who can understand this situation of isolation and "feeling small" and not adequate to being a man. I know that being a man takes much more than just having big Balls and Dick, but being a man with big Balls an Dick should even feel much better...

Thanks for reading so far, and pls excuse my English.

Harry

hoddle10 wrote: I'd imagine quite a few of us have this issue. It's no exaggeration to say my preoccupation with my penis size has ruled and ruined my life. I literally feel as trying to achieve anything in life is pointless without having a big penis, as I can't feel content without one. That isn't an exaggeration either. I've tired therapy with countless psychologists and lots of different SSRI's, but nothing seems to work. Unfortunately my issues started at such a young age, it's pretty much ingrained in me and is a source of constant anxiety. I wouldn't say I feel , though when I was younger and before I knew of surgical PE, I did think about it, but I do feel a sense of pointlessness to my existence and it's all because of PDD.

Like I would have written it myself. The size has held me back from so many intercourses with beautiful women and given me so many depressions over the years. I have never wished more for anything than just the one thing we men cannot achieve by ourselves - a big Dick.

I've been doing manual exercises for years with some success but I still feel very small, or should I say thin. I know that my length is above average. Looking in the mirror my length seems just average and it looks like a damn chop stick because the mid to the top is only 4.5-4.7" in Girth, while my base is 5-5.5. I still wish that no serious issues appears from people that have had PMMA so that I can have it done myself soon. I feel like its the last thing I need to do to make myself complete.

I don't know if I suffer from the disease because I think that I would be very happy with life if I had a 5.5+ Girth and could focus on other things that mattered. How can you as a competitive male not get affected by stories, todays media, movies and especially porn? We all have friends or girlfriends who have mentioned the size of someones Cock, we all watch movies where they say that bigger is better and we all (most of us) watch porn where most of the guys are hung like horses. We see people making fun of others (especially on film) with small penises like everyone who has a small/average penis is a loser. Why did the nature construct us in this way where we can build muscles but not increase the size of our love muscle?!

Please let PMMA work for all of you who needs it and may you all live a happier life!

There are tons of guys with the inverse PDD on LPSG, which I used to be on.

I'd imagine quite a few of us have this issue. It's no exaggeration to say my preoccupation with my penis size has ruled and ruined my life. I literally feel as trying to achieve anything in life is pointless without having a big penis, as I can't feel content without one. That isn't an exaggeration either. I've tired therapy with countless psychologists and lots of different SSRI's, but nothing seems to work. Unfortunately my issues started at such a young age, it's pretty much ingrained in me and is a source of constant anxiety. I wouldn't say I feel , though when I was younger and before I knew of surgical PE, I did think about it, but I do feel a sense of pointlessness to my existence and it's all because of PDD.

Maybe there are some like-minded people on this board who live in your area? Get together and talk about these issues, you may come to find you're quite well off (you seem to know this, but refuse to accept it). Good luck, let us know if anythings developed.

Greetings marsupilami,

You definitely have a large penis, and your obsession with not being "bulgy" enough and thus feeling inadequate is symptomatic of dysmorphia. Glad you can see this, and hopefully you wont risk or jeopardize the great size and great sex you have now with needless & risky surgical intervention(s).

.

Had the same problem, solved it :
- no porn anymore (well, maybe once a month)
- squeeze your member really hard when its erect just before sex (just some simple jelqs, this makes the erection a lot harder and better lasting)
- breath deeply, inhale as much oxygen as possible

no more difficulty getting off, even with the widest pussy ever
5 minutes max, then restrain yourself, try again for 5 minutes and so on, try to last half an hour and then shoot like a devil )

Penile Dysmorphic Disorder, I think quite a few guys have it on here but when people have a mental condition, they aren't aware of it, and continue to fight back with reasons to justify their behaviour. I think anything over 6 inches is serious over , but that's my opinion. I think going to monstrous proportions in order to increase self esteem, so a guy can think " I have the thickest penis in the room" is unhealthy. Before you can love anyone, you have learn to love yourself.

Doctor C may be a skilled doctor but at the end of the day, he is getting paid cold hard cash, he isn't going to refuse, ka-ching. Even doctors should put their foot down. I wouldn't want to have a vagina and meet a penis from this forum, unless I wanted a wizard sleeve....

Has anyone ever used THE TESTOSTERONE RING? I googled and searched on here but can't find any info outside the person who is pushing it


www.penis-hanger.de/english/products/testosterone-ring/

That is a very healthy size you've got.

Jonyoung wrote: To the OP message man how did you gain 2 and a half inches of Girth on your Dick

As hulk has already mentioned, much of the info you are looking for is in my "Messageman's Journey" thread. But in a nutshell, it took many years and tears...Dermal Grafts, scar tissue (from implant), and two sessions of PMMA...And lots of luck....

I think my obsession stems from being ultra competitive. For some reason I always wanted the respect of my peers and from being good at sports etc I always got it. I was seen as a bit of an alpha male among my young buddies. So discovering I had a small penis, was something me ego simply couldn't take. In a pretty short time I went from being very ambitious to feeling as if even trying to be a successful man was a waste of time. So I guess the answer lies in why I felt the need to have the respect of my friends from such a young age.

Sadly my surgeries were never successful, so didn't do anything to help with my mental state. However, before the problems became obvious, when I first took my bandages off, things looked pretty good and for that very brief moment, I felt pretty damn brilliant! This is why, despite having gone through 10+ surgeries, mainly for reconstruction, I still have ambitions for a successful enlargement, as the brief time for which I thought I had a big penis, my depression was alleviated. In reality penis size isn't the root cause of my problems, but I know for a fact that it is a solution to them and nothing else has even come close to succeeding. A fortune has been spent on therapy etc and never once did I feel as if I had made in progress at all, yet when I took the bandages off from my scaffold surgery and saw a large, albeit swollen, penis, I felt as if the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders.

I have the same anxiety because my best friend ever, whom I know from when we were only children, has an enormous Cock.
His Dick is litterally 10 inches long Erect, and quite wide too (don't know how wide, but i've been in the shower in the fitness with him, it seems at least 6 Inch width flacid, it's just incredible).
He is very self-conscious about it and knows all girls want to fuck him.

If you know such a guy from the beginning of self-awareness, let's say 6 years old, this gets printed in your mind.
I have had more and more beautiful women then he does, but I know it's just because he doesn't care, he can get them all if he wanted it.
When we were studying together girls would come over from other cities just to be devirginised by him, imagine !!

Now this doesn't mean he had better sex : the girls certainly did, but on the other side : he wasn't spared from relationship boredom either.
His previous girlfriend didn't want to fuck any more since their first child, only when he moved to another girl suddenly she wanted it again.

So my conclusion is : you can get as big as you want, all sex becomes boring after a while.
People need change in their lives, also in sex.

My personal experience is that good sex depends as much on the size of the girls' pussy then on the size of the guy's Dick.
A big pussy demands a big Dick, and vice versa.
Some girls are just too big for a normal Dick, and a girl with good pussy-muscles can please herself and almost any guy.
Maybe it's time for the girls to start putting PMMA in their pussy's, it's them that can't come easily, not us guys !
Why do we have to go through all this, it's the women's fault not ours ! We come with any pussy.
And if you have a girl who can easily come : they exist, even in large numbers, be happy about it, but don't forget: you'll get bored of it too, if she doesn't before you.

I understand this concept. I am grappling with this as well. But I'm not convinced I have dysmorphia. I have a very large penis already and yet I can't stop trying to figure out how to make it bigger. Is that dysmorphia? I don't think I have a small penis. I don't think it's smaller than I know it is. In fact I look at it and am quite pleased. Sometimes I imagine having a smaller penis and even that pleases me. Yet when I imagine having a slightly larger or much larger penis that pleases me even more. Am I de facto dysmorphic? I'm not even depressed or anxious about my size now, I just want more... Any insights?